Importance
Intro
It has been said that the hardest thing in the world is to know yourself.
The family of origin shapes a person's personality, influences personality growth, develops the ability to manage emotions and sets the pattern for interpersonal interactions as the individual grows up. The emotional habits and patterns of thinking that are formed in a person's family of origin are called the "family of origin complex".
The influence of the family of origin on a couple's relationship
According to surveys, differences in personality and values are the number one cause of divorce, followed by third party involvement and sexual disharmony.
Many problems that appear to be couples' problems are not couples' problems, but rather psychological growth problems brought about by the family of origin (the family of the respective parents); what was not fulfilled in the past is now doubly fulfilled.
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Everyone begins their journey with the psychological imprint of their family of origin. For example, family ranking, upbringing, internal vows (or "mottos" from our upbringing, or ideas that remain in our minds and become the highest guiding principles of our lives. (Our upbringing instils in us many beliefs that are not only unbreakable, but continue to influence us). Our family of origin is also the environment and system that has the earliest and longest lasting influence on us.
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Finding new patterns of coping
Like all social systems, the family has its basic needs: a sense of worth, security, fulfilment, intimacy, etc. Our little family has what it lacks to make up for it, and what it needs more of to go. The husband's own little sense of worth and fulfilment is not enough, he also needs his wife's appreciation, and she gives him a little, which can be twice as good. The husband wants to be the decision maker, give him a little power. He wants to be an authority figure like his father, give him a little more face ...... These tricks save heart and effort and are also low cost, so try them.